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We are in the finale of the series of Gods gift to men, you will now meet the most important woman I know. I know I said there were 40 but at my age now, I forget things, I can’t remember the last bunch. I probably bored the reader anyway.
I was really hurting from the loss of my first wife, that hurt lasted for 15 years. My sister also came to be with me for a while and went to church and met a young woman name Debra. She had short-cropped sandy hair with a very cute smile but I really wasn’t interested at all, she didn’t capture my attention. I went to a bible study at her home, she lived a lone in that big house. We showed no interest in each other at all.
One evening when I was at home for some reason I went outside and found Debra and my sister sitting in her car talking and walked up to Debra and asked if she would go the Sunday school picnic with my family. She said yes. My sister looked stunned and said I thought you didn’t want to go, Debra had changed her mind. The three of us had a great time and decided to make it a three some more often. I heard later that Debra was interested but sister wasn’t supposed to tell me about it.
The mystery part of this is, we didn’t like each in the first weeks, but something clicked, really clicked. Debra was fun to be with, totally unattached and my brother- in -law knew her very well had been pointing his search finger her way knowing everyone else had been a failure for a prospective wife. Several people were praying that we would get together, We knew noting about this until later. She came to my home one evening for the bible study and finally saw my baby. My mother was holding him and you actually see Debra and baby locking eyes, fast and hard, I was stunned they were a natural together.
I like this woman
As stated previously our three some was having fun all the time and I shared with my sister at one point if this continues to goes well I asked her stop coming with us. It finally happened Deb and I had our first date in a canoe on the lake where I lived and a little swimming. She came to my home and looked wonderful in a swimsuit. Our first date was really fun, she was very sweet and very charming, it appeared I had girlfriend again. We had been active in our church for many years and while we learning at the pool another church member spotted us being together, his eyes almost fell out his head when he saw who I was dating.
One weekend I was doing an entire photo series and had to travel to several cities and asked her to come with. I knew by that time she was easy to get a date with, she never said no. I was a nervous wreck some of the time, I was alone with another woman in my car, who was not my wife. The hurt was still there and I felt like I betrayed my first wife by being with another woman. I had been very much in love with Cindy, she was my life. Debra was wonderful companion to me but I wasn’t in love with her yet. I reached my final destination took my photos and was to return home for dinner with friends that night. We cruised a nice highway past sunflower fields and small towns having a wonderful time with this charming lady.
I think I’m in love
Then it happened, I came to a sign just before a small town that said WELCOME TO SOUTH DAKOTA, I came to a halt. What did I do? She asked if there was town that name? I had gone the wrong direction, for at least at hour. What was I thinking? Well we headed had back find a phone booth and cancel dinner plans for the night, we would be late. We were still having fun all the way getting know each other, what was going on. When I got home and just hanging out, we kissed passionately, well you guessed by now, the two people who didn’t like each other had fallen in love and now were inseparable.
The phone rang, my dad was calling from North Dakota, he was in the hospital and had my baby with him. I had to go get my boy. I didn’t have to ask Debra to come with she volunteered when I told her what happened. We had a wonderful trip together, my Dad was so glad she came that he actually cried I finally another woman in my life.
But, I was still gun-shy about my life as I had to take the roots of love away from Cindy and give them to Debra. I was supposed to meet her grandmother one day but that didn’t happen, her grandmother passed away that same day. I went to the funeral instead. I knew the pastor who would officiate and he was stunned to seem me. I told that him Debra and I were dating. The word spread like wildfire, I found a new gift from God.
I want this woman
Well, it was inevitable by October 10th 1981, we got engaged to be married, it had not been a year since my wife’s death. I felt guilty about getting engaged so soon and tried to hide it. That didn’t work to good, our faces showed it, we were together whenever possible. My son was moved into her home to stay and during the day we found a baby sitter. This was very awkward to say the least, an unmarried couple with a baby that wasn’t hers. But I knew she love him as her own. People at our church could see this very well and of course every one knew our background. Debra wanted to get married sooner but I was not ready for that yet, still hurting my loss.
She become my bride
April 24, 1982 I took my bride on a wonderful honeymoon to Florida. It had been a rough winter that year so we went on a walk late one morning toward then end of our time in Florida and regrettably she became very ill with sunstroke. The next several days were spent taking care of my bride. She recovered enough to travel home and begin our new life together.
It wasn’t all that easy
Our new life together wasn’t all peaches and cream like you think it might be. Our love was very strong but we didn’t know each other all that well, being new parents and newly weds. With my first wife I had no child yet, we were had no interruptions ever. With my new wife, there were plenty of interruptions from all sides, especially baby day at night. Now I was up at night a lot taking care of him and adjusting to my new home. The town house was sold and it was big job sorting out what to keep and what to get ride off. The hardest job was my new wife dealing with my as of yet grief from my past. She wanted to know my past relationship and I was constantly getting them confused. It was struggle for me letting go of the old life.
I loved Debra more and more each day. She wanted her children as well but we waited several years before that happened. I was nervous that happening again. She wanted to get settled in as a mother and very often she said that she didn’t believe she had finally gotten married. After about five years of married life and plenty of discussion about our new life together she asked me not bring up my deceased wife again. I did my best and now she got pregnant with our first child, he came early and stayed in the hospital for about a week. We went to see our son everyday. It was an uphill climb with this newborn he was such a sweet baby boy. He needed his bottle every hour, 24 hours a day. It was very tiring for both of us.
Our Family grew
Then our youngest was born, I was hoping for girl but got a boy. We decided not to have anymore, I was in my thirties and could not envision chasing after four children in my fifties. I was 35 at the time. Well our third son came home with us, I finally got it right. The home became very active now with three little boys doing what little boys do. It was hard work keeping a new marriage going strong and three little ones at the same time. The older they got the more fun they were and the more I grew to love my wife at that point in time it was now 15 years of marriage.
Longer story made a little shorter, the boys went to college and started moving out. They came home quite often, Debra and I had more time for each other. Eventual, the youngest who was supposed to be the girl become and incredible guy, he was always fun to be with. He brought the first girl home to be with us, as our first daughter in law. Our second son struggled to find a good girlfriend, it took a lot of heartache watching him deal with losers. Then a dating sight made it happen. He started dating, we eventually met her. After a year of dating constantly, he announced thier engagement, their was not a happier person on planet at the end of 2017. She is beautiful inside and outside, another real treasure in our home.
Then disaster struck, I got hurt and lost my job and was totally helpless for months over a broken ankle, my wife of now 35 years was there with me 24 hours a day doing things for me and with me that no human being should have to do. She was my angel at my side many times crying with me as we hit the bottom together with a great anxiety. We had to sell our home and moved in with our youngest son for several months and until we found our own place. My first daughter- in -law is a gem as well, I spent a lot of time with her then and the grand-kids as well. That was precious time for all of us and stressful time as well with my healing body. I have been blessed deeply with two wonderful woman had been real treasures to me. God has blessed me immensely, loving me with two these two superb wives that are faithful and true everyday. I took a lot of losers to find true love, but well worth it.